Late Actress Kim Soo-mi’s Diaries Released: “Afraid of the Fallout for My Family”

On December 12, it was announced that “I Plead Against Everything That Kills Me”, a book containing key excerpts from Kim Soo-mi’s diaries written from 1983 until her death in 2024, has been released.

The diaries reveal the challenges she faced as an actress while tirelessly working to protect her family and household as the head of the family. The writings also reflect her deep longing for life despite the hardships.

Particularly notable are entries from October and November 2023, which depict her suffering from extreme stress. This period coincided with a lawsuit between her son, Jung Myung-ho “Napalg Flower F&B,” a company using Kim Soo-mi’s name to sell food products. He accused the company’s executive, Mr. A, of embezzlement and fraud. The lawsuit led to retaliatory media threats from the accused.

Kim Soo-mi wrote in her diary, “Every day feels like torture. I’ve lost my appetite and can’t sleep without sleeping pills because of the fear of what the fallout from news articles might bring.” She added, “The past month has been filled with anxiety, fear, and emotional torment—an absolute nightmare.”

Later in her life, Kim Soo-mi also battled panic disorder. In a diary entry from January of this year, she described her pain: “Food feels like sand in my mouth, and the suffocating agony of panic attacks is beyond what any medication can cure.” She continued, “The shortness of breath, anxiety, and fear—this is the hardest period of my life.”

Kim Soo-mi admitted in her diary, “I am afraid of the fallout this book might bring to my family. But after accepting Christ, I found courage. I want to share my life philosophy with those who may be contemplating extreme decisions, especially teenagers. I want them to know how I’ve reached this point in my life and career.”

The publishing company stated, “We kept editing to a minimum to preserve Kim Soo-mi’s candid thoughts as she wrote them early every morning in her diary. None of the content was removed or altered. Alongside the diaries, we included short columns and pieces she wrote, as well as behind-the-scenes stories from the broadcasting industry that have never been shared publicly.”

According to her family, all proceeds from the book will be donated to charity.

Source: Sports Chosun